| - More than one person can fit in your pants. |
| - Its possible that your nipples are not visible above your pants. |
| - You take the mirrors off your ceiling and put them on the walls. |
| - You go Lindy Hopping on the way to a Lindy Hop lesson |
| - The first question you ask a girl is "How much do you weigh?" |
| - You think that the next number after eight is one |
| - When you pick up girls, you pick up girls... |
| - You no longer buy clothes you can't dance in |
| - You frequently show up at work with a limp and/or bruises |
| - You can't pass a shoe store without checking to see if they have spectators even if you already have several pairs |
| - You carry luggage to social events but aren’t planning a trip |
| - Your underwear is an occasionally visible part of your evening ensemble |
| - You can't watch other forms of dance without trying to identify moves that could be turned into Lindy steps or aerials |
| - You spend every long weekend at Lindy camps, workshops or competitions |
| - You schedule business trips around dance nights |
| - You only go home to sleep, to do laundry and to repack your dance bag |
| - You eat your main meal of the day at one in the morning |
| - You think about Lindy Hop whenever you're not actually doing it |
| - Your non-dance friends keep hoping that you’ll come to your senses so they can see you in person again |
| - Your heartbeat is an eight-count. |
| - You mutter "philistine" under your breath when you see (gasp) clip suspenders . |
| - The Salvation Army people are getting suspicious. |
| - You saw Swing Kids five times and you didn't even like it. |
| - The only thing you can think of doing with a time machine is going back to the forties and picking up some vintage threads. |
| - Your newest line is "hey, are those Bleyers?" and you really do want to talk about shoes. |
| - You think an iced bottle of water is the ultimate prize for a dance contest. |
| - You routinely bring a change of clothes, water, and a towel or two for a night out. |
| - You don't wear your dance shoes off the dance floor |
| - You sweat through your dance partner's shirt. |
| - Most of your CDs are AAD. |
| - You evaluate the quality of CD players based on whether they skip when you and two of your closest friends jump up and down right next to them. |
| - Your non-dancing friends (the two remaining) start to refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid." |
| - Your dancing friends refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid." |
| - You tell those two non-dancing friends NOT to come visit you any weekend a big swing event is on because you know they won't want to go and you'll either go and feel guilty, or miss it and MISS IT!!! |
| - You practice Shim Sham steps sitting at your desk at work. |
| - You practice Shorty George walking to work. |
| - You drink more than your own weight in water every day. |
| - You Lindy Hop in the T station while waiting for your train after a Lindy Hop lesson. |
| - People know and greet you only by a nickname, not of your own choosing, bestowed upon you by fellow dancers. |
| - You bought a copy of Disney's "The Jungle Book" to see the animated lindy-dancing monkeys. |
| - People could read a message written on the soles of your shoes during your part in the jam. |
| - People could read a message written on your underwear during your part in the jam. |
| - You make people gasp when you dance. |
| - You make people laugh when you dance. |
| - Alcohol impairs your dancing instead of loosens you up. |
| - You know people by their dance nicknames, like "Dipping Bill" or "Lindy Bill", "Backless dress Wendy" or "Crazy Redhead Wendy" or "Mean Chris..." |
| - You have philosophical and political discussions about Zoot Suits. |
| - You choreograph Lindy Hop routines in the car. |
| - You try out the Lindy Hop routines you've choreographed in the car... while driving. |